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 Pangtanggal ng wrinkles 1

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dzypherus
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Male Number of posts : 376
Age : 35
Location : Philippines(Iligan)
Registration date : 2007-08-20

PostSubject: Pangtanggal ng wrinkles 1   Fri Nov 21, 2008 12:31 pm

"NAKATIPID"

Takbong pumasok ng bahay si Mario.

Pagod na pagod, pero masayang-masaya.

Nagmamayabang pa sa ina.

"Nanay! Nanay! Nakatipid ako ng uno singkwenta."

"Nakatipid? Paano?" tanong ng nanay.

"Aba'y 'di ako sumakay ng dyip.

Sumabay lang ako ng takbo.

Kaya't nakatipid ako ng one-fifty!"

"Bobo ka pala, eh. Kung taxi ang sinabayan mo,

'Di mas malaki ang natipid mo!"



***



Q : Ano ang pagkakaiba ng SANITARY NAPKIN sa BRA?
A : Sa Sanitary napkin parang wala kahit meron, samantalang sa bra parang meron kahit wala!

***



ANAK : Tays! kakains nas tayos!
TATAY : Hoy! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng ' S ' sa mga sinasabi mo ha! Ano ba ang ulam?
ANAK: BANGU na may KAMATI, ARDINA na may IBUYA !

***

A man wanted to buy bra for his wife but doesn't know the size.
SALESGIRL: " Is it as big as papaya ? "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " an apple "
MAN: " No "
SALESGIRL : " ahh..an egg ? "
MAN: " YES , but fried ! "

***

MAN: I want a birthday present for my wife.
SALESLADY: How long have u been married sir ?
MAN : 22 yrs !
SALESLADY: Bargain basement is on the left.
***

Q: Why do women wear black panties ?
A : For the memory of those who got buried inside !
Q: Why do men have to wear white briefs ?
A : To pretend that it's pure & never been buried !
***

KOSA 1: Ganda kotse o Siguro kay meyor yan!
KOSA 2: Dili, bay!
KOSA 1: Ah, kay Warden.
KOSA 2: Tunto! Kay Father yan, nakasulat na nga sa likod " SAFARI "



Randy Regala Pangilinan
Data Management Section
Patient Affairs Department
Tawam Hospital - Johns Hopkins Medicine
PO Box 15258 Al Ain, U.A.E.






MGA TRABAHO

Nagkita ang magkumpadre na matagal na ring di nagkikita:

"Pare saan ka nag - tra- trabaho ngayon?"

IIBM, Pare", ang sagot."

"IBM eh, wala ka namang computer background ah?"

"Istambay Buong Maghapon."

"Eh ikaw Pare anong trabaho mo ngayon?"

"Chemist, Pare"

"Chemist, paanong nangyari 'yon eh, di ka naman nag-college? "

"Ke Misis umaasa, Pare."

-------
BISAYA 1 : Unsay ibig sabihon ng " cooling place " ?
BISAYA 2 : Pag-naga ring ang fon, sabihin mo " Hilow, hus cooling place ? "
-------

-------
GIRL 1 : Halata na tiyan mo, bakit di pa kayo magpakasal ng BF mo?
GIRL 2 : Ayaw ng pamilya niya eh !
GIRL 1 : Sino may ayaw, tatay o nanay niya ?
GIRL 2 : yung misis niya !
-------
SweetHearts making love ..
GF : " Luv, alam mo ikaw lang ang naikama ko "
BF : Sweet mo naman luv !
GF : Oo, kasi, yung iba, sa CR, Sala, Kusina at kung saan saan pa !
-------
------
MAN 1 : Kinakausap mo ba misis mo habang nakikipag-sex ka ?
MAN 2 : Hindi ah ! pinapatay ko ang celfon ko para di niya ako matawagan !
-------
BOY 1 : Why did u run away from the naked lady ?
BOY 2 : coz' my mom said that if I look at a naked lady I will turn to
stone & a part of me was already getting hard like stone.
-------
Q : Ano ang pagkakaiba ng mag-syota at mag-asawa ?
A: SYOTA - " Excuse me, lalayo tapos uutot "
ASAWA " Uutot muna, lalayas tapos wala pang " excuse me "
------

GUY 1 : Noong, nakaraang buwan, isinama ko syota ko sa bahay ng lolo kong milyonaryo para makilala nito.
GUY 2 : Anong nangyari ?
GUY 1 : Lola ko na siya ngayon !
------
JOE : Kumusta bakasyon boy ?
BOY : Masama, sabado pilay manok ni tyong, ulam namin tinola..linggo
pilay baboy, ulam namin litson, kanina napilay si tyong, ulam namin
hindi ko inalam, kain ako sa labas
------
2 wives are buying itlog at a local market .
WIFE 1 : Everytime I see itlog maalat naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko.
WIFE 2 : Wow ! ganyan kapula ?
WIFE 2 : Hindi, ganyan kaalat !
-------
-------
PRESCRIPTION :
For Headaches : UNTOGMODON
For Toothaches : TIISCYN
For Unfaithful Husband : FUTULYN
For Maniac : CAPONYN
-------
-------
Farmer ordered a MILKING MACHINE ..tried it on his
penis & had a wonderful orgasm but couldn't remove
it so he read the manual & fainted. It said " AUTO
RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS !"

-- d
Razz

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Live as if you'll die TODAY.
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